Last night we had friends over to celebrate Oliver’s birthday, and I had two glasses of wine. I ended my month of sobriety one day early.
I’ve been asked several times why I stopped drinking. It began as a challenge: “Let’s see if I can do this.” Then it became an experiment. Would sobriety have a positive impact on my triathlon training? Would fewer liquid calories translate to a few lost pounds? Would I go to bed early and sleep more soundly?
At first I had difficulty getting to sleep. Then I’d wake in the night with my mind racing, unable to turn off the flow of thoughts. But soon – perhaps a week into January – I was able to sleep easily all night long. I didn’t get to bed much earlier than before, but I slept better than I had been when I was drinking.
I can’t say for certain whether I’ve lost weight thanks to a lack of alcohol or as a result of a bug that turned me inside out twice in the past week. I’m down three pounds, whatever that means.
Surprisingly, I’ve seen no discernible effects on my training. I’ve had great days, so-so days, and days where I had to will myself to keep going, just as I did when I was drinking.
What has definitely changed is my attitude toward drinking going forward.
I make a lot of jokes regarding alcohol. Probably half of my Facebook statuses refer to drinking. Even this past month, when I’d sign a screeching Oliver into the child care center at the gym, the attendant would ask where they could find me and I’d quip, “At the bar.”
There’s nothing wrong with that, in and of itself. Nor is there anything inherently wrong with drinking.
But what I’ve discovered this past month is that I didn’t like the way I was drinking. I wasn’t just drinking when Kyle and I went out to dinner, or when we had friends over, or when I was at a gathering. I was drinking by myself, in front of my laptop, simply because it was THERE. I’d end up drinking more than I intended to, more often than I wanted to. It was a habit I wanted to change.
I have a weakness for ice cream. If it’s in the house, I will eat it. A few months ago, I stopped buying it. Now, other than a rare pint of Graeter’s or on my children’s birthdays, I don’t eat ice cream. I even managed to get through the holidays without buying a single carton of Edy’s Peppermint Stick.
When I began my month of sobriety, I tossed all the white wine we had. Removing that possible temptation made it far easier to abstain than if I’d had a rack full of Sauvignon Blanc staring down at me every night.
I developed a tea habit, albeit a very expensive one that has probably offset my savings at the liquor store. But that nightly cup of tea (or three) became a new ritual, something else to anticipate and savor in the quiet after the kids had gone to bed.
The real change in me is a newfound sense of strength and control: I don’t have to have a drink. I knew that before, of course. But now, not only can I say, “I don’t need one,” but I can feel really good about saying, “I won’t have one.” It gives me the same sense of triumph that I get on a long run when I reach the summit of a hill without stopping to walk. Sure, I felt like walking, but I didn’t need to and I chose not to.
My hopes for my training and my drinking are much the same: that my training grows easier with time and practice, and also with time and practice, that it grows easier for me to refuse a drink.
I figure if I can give up ice cream, then curtailing my alcohol consumption on a permanent basis ought to be a snap.
It’s so funny how obvious things like replacing wine with tea at night is so simple yet I hadn’t considered anything like that, and think I need to take a few cues from you here and incorporate it into my evenings as well. I drink alone in front of my laptop often, too.
Steph
Wow. Good for you. I am really impressed.
What a great and honest post.
You’re right… there is nothing inherently wrong with partaking of alcohol every now and again. I’m glad, however, that you could stop and address that your habit wasn’t matching what you thought that maybe it should.
Alcohol is sort of accepted by the world. On my f-list, and especially among mommy bloggers, I see a LOT of pro-alcohol sentiment on a daily basis. Quite frankly, I have actually deleted people who tweet more and with less cohesiveness as the nights wear on and the wine flows freely.
It’s nice to see someone openly talk about alcohol this way because as someone (and many have) who has seen alcohol addiction at it’s finest, I can say first hand that it is a horrifying affliction to have to go through or to watch someone go through. Thanks!
Well, now I’m very curious about what kind of tea you’re drinking! ‘Cause I am much more likely to abuse the chai latte than the two-buck chuck.
In all seriousness — good for you. I’m glad you did it and I’m glad it was worthwhile and a good learning experience.
That’s great! I read something recently about how it all goes back to discipline and routine. If you practice resistance in one area, it helps you in another. I believe that. By completing this challenge you’ve gained the strength and wisdom to do other things, building on each new item, just like training for a race. Love your perspective here.
I’m all about the tea. I have long since been a tea snob and heaven help my husband if he buys tea in a bag instead of loose tea.
I’m proud of you my friend.
See you soon. I’ll be the chubby cripple with the cane.
Wink.
It’s something that I don’t talk all that much about – although, like you, I joke – but I stopped casual drinking a while ago. I’ll still have a glass of wine or something occasionally – and with conference season approaching, I fully expect to have some glasses of wine – but mostly, I just avoid it. ‘Extending the sobriety of the day,’ I once heard someone call it, someone who’d stopped drinking alcohol, mostly, even though he didn’t have a quote-unquote problem.
Good for you, lady
It’s true–a jokey stigma has evolved that mom(mies) need to and do drink. It’s kind of annoying.
Hey, kudos for identifying something that was bothering you and then trying to change it. All too often I complain about one of my behaviors, then do zip to modify myself.
Good for you! I’ve given up on the occasional glass of wine at night to unwind to see if it will help in weight loss, but I haven’t gone so far as to throw it all out of the house. I applaud your boldness. I guess I’m hesitant to do so because I like knowing it’s there – should I need it. But, as you point out, do I *really* need it? No. There are other ways to unwind as you’ve found in tea. A good book would do it for me, instead of vegging out to TV or the internet as I normally do. It really is just a matter of committing to it & changing the habit. Thanks for the inspiration!
Good on you. I’ve been doing something similar with the Paleo diet, where I’ve given up carbs, sugar and dairy. I thought giving up sugar would be the death of me, but it’s actually not as bad as I had imagined. Additionally, I’m limited to 4 glasses of wine a week. This has also been an incredible feat of willpower and strength for me, because it means I have to be VERY picky about when and where I enjoy those 4 glasses. It also means no beer.
Getting rid of the temptation is key. We actually boxed up all of our carbs and hid them away in the attic. Much easier to forget about them that way…unless I leave the house and walk past a bakery. Then, it’s a challenge.
The inspiration garnered by your resolve is enough that I’ll ignore the fact that the title of your post implanted that stupid George Thorogood song firmly in my skull. Quick, somebody put on some Lady GaGa!
I’m an English professor. If you don’t know the stereotype, that likely doesn’t mean anything, but the gist is that English professors never met an open bar that they don’t like.
I am an extremely controlled drinker, probably because my father is, um, let’s say not. I have a list of rules related to drinking that I follow to make sure I don’t end up in trouble. It helps. Now to make it work for food (my drug of choice).
It’s so hard to know where the line is between social drinker and person with a problem. I appreciate your honesty and wish you every success with your plan to proceed.
I’m all for a wine flavored ice cream. But I’m awfully proud of you, Julie! That’s pretty awesome.
I quit drinking in college. I didn’t like what it did to me while I was drinking (made me stupid) or after I was done (made me SICK.) I’ve gone through the better part of my adult life sober (and everyone’s designated driver) and I have to say that although I don’t judge ANYONE’S recreational alcohol consumption, I am often amazed by how prevalent drinking to excess is. Whenever I’m in a packed bar on a Saturday (very rare occurrence these days,) I look around and think ‘ALL these people are drinking’ and then I think about the hundreds (thousands) of bars all over, filled to capacity with SO MANY people drinking. It’s a little surreal. You know. If you’re me.
I also want to know what kind of tea you’re drinking. For real.
I just started some new medication that I can’t drink alcohol with…and I think that’s a good thing. I was drinking more often than I should have as well.
Congratulations! What is a great step toward positive change. I am sure it was challenging, but isn’t it amazing how a little time can put things in perspective? Reminded me of a book I read several years ago entitled “Drinking: a Love Story”. You might like it.
Is it sad that I am more envious of your ability to kick the Ice Cream habit? You’d think years of scooping the stuff would have turned me off, but nooooo, I am a junkie to this day.
Thank you for having the courage to post your story.
That’s amazing. I’ve noticed that when my alcohol consumption goes down, I attack the cookies. Sigh. . .
x,
Paula
http://www.adhocmom.com
So proud of you Jule – for setting your mind to something and doing it with flying colors. Not like any of us are surprised.
Now, let’s hear more about that tea that costs the same as a Sauvignon Blanc…
I’m not a drinker and never have been. And by that, I mean that I can literally count on one hand the number of times I’ve had an alcoholic beverage.
So I know how difficult it can be to not drink. Alcohol is everywhere and it’s a very easy habit to fall into. People look at you funny when you turn down a drink and there are SO MANY alcohol-related references in our everyday language. I may not have any idea what it takes to stop drinking (probably never will), but I have a phenomenal amount of respect for anyone who does. Even if all they do is cut back, I think it’s amazing. It’s a tough choice to make and adhere to, so WELL DONE YOU!
I’m not sure if I think of my glass of wine while poking around on twitter as drinking alone. I’m still socializing, you see. But alcoholism/addiction runs strongly in my family, so the way I’m drinking is something that’s always on my radar. I learned that addiction destroys the human capacity for happiness before I learned how to read, and that’s something I would spare my son, and so I’m always aware.
My mom doesn’t buy ice cream (excepting specific occasions such as birthday parties) for the same reason. It’s a habit I’ve adopted from her.
One glass of wine, no. But I was drinking at least two, more often three. And as you said, it was the way I was drinking that I wanted to change.
I started drinking a lot less when I was trying to get pregnant – which has been at least 4 years. At first it was really hard since those who know me – I consider myself a wine connoisseur, I don’t drink crappy wine. But now, years down the road – I actually don’t miss it – really. I have become a tea drinker as well, and I agree and expensive habit!!