Two years ago, we went up to Breckenridge with Kyle’s boss and his wife. She and I explored the shops together, and as we exited one of them, the proprietor called out, “Happy Holidays!”
Out on the street, she turned to me and sniffed, “I wish people wouldn’t say that. It’s Merry Christmas.”
“Mmm,” I replied noncommittally. After all, she was the boss’s wife.
But she was wrong. It’s Happy Holidays, and it’s not just politically correct – it’s accurate.
In this American melting pot, where nearly all of our families originally came from somewhere else, it’s simply ignorant to make the assumption that everyone celebrates Christmas. Throughout the month of December, we’ve got Hanukkah, Christmas, Boxing Day, and Kwanzaa. There’s also the Winter Solstice and New Year’s Day. Lots of holidays indeed, and you can’t tell simply by looking at someone what they celebrate. How hard is it to cover your bases and say Happy Holidays? How does that hurt you?
Likewise, it doesn’t hurt to say thank you when someone wishes you a Merry Christmas, even if you don’t celebrate it. I don’t climb on my soapbox when someone says God Bless You after I sneeze; I say thank you. Both sentiments are kind ones, even if they don’t apply to you personally.
I do object to Bless Your Heart though, since I know it’s code for Fuck You.
The assumptions go both ways. When I was a child, one of our neighbors gave my parents a Hanukkah card for my brother and me (on what basis, we’re still not sure). When my mother and I looked for a wedding venue in Washington, we were asked more than once where we’d like the huppah. Curious, yes. Offensive, no.
Such tolerance ought to extend to holiday-specific displays, activities, and songs. While I object to erecting permanent religious symbols on public property – the Ten Commandments don’t belong on the wall of the courthouse – I see no reason why we can’t share our celebrations with our children’s classmates and our fellow townspeople. A Christmas tree hurts no one. Neither does a menorah. They’re both cultural and religious symbols, and they’re temporary.
Learning about others’ beliefs – and being tolerant and respectful of them – doesn’t negate your own beliefs. So have yourself a happy little holiday, whichever it is you choose to celebrate.
Julie, this is a wonderful post. Refreshing, and well, Happy Holidays.
Steph
Great post. I was shopping with Jewish friend once and the cashier said “Merry Christmas.” My friend replied, “Well, Merry Christmas to you, but I’m Jewish.” The cashier then went off on her about keeping the Christ in Christmas. My ultra-polite friend just smiled and walked off. I was more steamed than she was.
(BTW, “bless your heart” can be non-insulting. When used in reference to children or someone who’s just suffered a tragedy, it’s perfectly acceptable.)
Ref “bless your heart” – totally depends on context, I realize. I just think it’s amusing that it’s also used derisively.
I totally agree. It’s the HOLIDAY season, not just the Christmas season. Christmas is one of those holidays, but there ARE others, and it’s just civil to acknowledge that.
Love this posting. Well said, I’ve had the same thoughts kicking around in my own head.
I love that bless your heart has been used derisively too. Funny! It’s fun how you can say something nice, and in a nice tone & mean the opposite without folks knowing. Much nicer than just coming out & saying something nasty. hahah.
I remember the whole “war on Christmas” theory that was perpetuated by FoxNews back in 2005 (I think). Some of my relatives (staunch protestants) were going out of their way to “wage war” on anyone that wasn’t celebrating Christmas. I, on the other hand, was truly offended. If anything, “Happy Holidays” is completely appropriate even if you are only acknowledging Christmas and New Year’s.
And as annoying as the new Gap ads are, I must hand it to them for the true sense of ecumenism that they are trying to portray. (And yes, I’ve heard people rail against the whole Go Christmas, Go Hanukkah, Go Kwanzaa, Go Solstice all mushed together in the ad.)
So, unless I KNOW you and your family…and more specifically KNOW what you believe and celebrate, I will be sticking with “Happy Holidays.” Your last paragraph sums it up perfectly– “What harm is it to be respectful of others without compromising your beliefs?” It’s not.
About public displays, however, I am in disagreement. Though I don’t mind a menorah or tree being placed and decorated in public spaces, I don’t feel that it is appropriate for nativity scenes to be on public property.
And thanks for clearing up the “bless your heart” comment. Though you are correct about it being used commonly in place of “fuck you”, most of the time I use it the sentiment is genuine. Blame it on my Southern Roots.
“War on Christmas” – ugh. What a malicious mischaracterization.
Nativity scenes on public property – I actually didn’t comment specifically on that in my post. But I agree with you – not appropriate.
And if anyone blessed my heart, I’d just say thank you.
You might say “thank you”, but I’m SURE you would know the true meaning of what they were saying!
Context clues are everyting!
Now I understand why the parking attendant at my work parking garage always greets me with, “Have a blessed day” (blessed is pronounces “bless-said”.)
Makes perfect sense.
Happy Holidays indeed
Why is it that so many people can’t be as reasonable about this topic as you are? It makes no sense to me to get upset when someone wished me a happy holiday. Guess I have better things to worry about!
Oh, and the blessed day thing is usually a sure sign of a conservative, evangelical Christian leaning.
I get extremely irritated when someone gets offended by Happy Holidays.
However, Bless your heart had better have a second meaning my aunt wasn’t saying what I thought she was saying for all those years
(and given what a sweet woman she is, that scares me at a deep level).
DAMN! We COULD have been married under a huppah?!
I agree, absolutely! When people mean well, really – just be kind back at them, is what I say.
I always take ‘bless your heart’ to mean – ‘goodness, but you just said/did a really stupid thing!’ lol
Cheerio and – well – happy holidays! from
Lidian
Perfect. I say all of this every year but never as succinctly or coherently.
It is posts like this that make me love you even more. Perfectly stated. Happy holidays.
“Merry Christmas!”
“I believe you mean, ‘Lo, Saturnalia!’”
*blank stare*
I’m totally sending these out next year.
Growing up in the melting pot that is south Florida, I always heard ‘Happy Holidays’. I can specifically remember thinking how rudely presumptive it was when my first December living in Central Florida a proprietor said Merry Christmas to my (Jewish) friend and me.
Agreed on all fronts!
Happy holidays!
Being tolerant and respectful of them – doesn’t negate your own beliefs. I agreed…
My argument is that Happy Holidays is an inclusive statement by it’s very nature. Saying Merry Christmas is exclusive to all those who don’t celebrate it. I believe in being inclusive.
My inlaws live in an area where everyone is Christian. Really. It’s small, southern and country out there, and there is no religious buildings except churches (and none are Catholic either). So when they totally went off about saying Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas and about keeping the Christ in Christmas, I gave my argument of inclusiveness to them and had to point out that many other areas of the country are more diverse than theirs. I think they got it, but who knows if they remember since there is no one else to voice this perspective around them.
But those living in diverse areas that still don’t get it? I don’t get them.
happy holidays julie! enjoy this cute clip of Despicable Me:
Well said. This year we celebrated Hanukkah, Solstice and Christmas. My kids didn’t blink an eye.
happy holidays to you , too, ms julie.
here’s to a whole new decade ! and godlessness !! and moms who care about being smart and doing a good job !!!!! Hip-Hip–HOOOORAAYY!!!!!!!!