Based on my schedule over the past four weeks (Las Vegas, New York, and St. George, Utah), it would appear that I’m a jet-setting mommy blogger, flitting from one event to another.
Nope. Not even close.
First, I removed myself from the ranks of mommy bloggers – not with this apres-BlogHer post, but when I archived mothergoosemouse and began The Mom Slant. mothergoosemouse was a mommy blog, and not a consistently excellent one either. I’m not a humorist (who’s not just “funny on the rewrite”), nor am I equipped to wax eloquently about motherhood. I’m certainly not comfortable talking about my sex life – not with the Internet at large, anyway.
What I enjoy is giving my opinion – my well-considered and well-supported opinion – while allowing respectful dissent from my audience. That is, while I may still not agree with a commenter, he or she can rest assured that I value their input and appreciate the time they took to contribute to the discussion.
My focus at The Mom Slant takes me out of the running for many of the mommy blogger perks. You won’t find me on ranked lists of mommy bloggers, no matter how arbitrary the source. I’ve spoken on one panel only, and I’ve never proposed a panel idea to conference organizers. My invitations to press junkets seem to end up as case studies on Marketing Roadmaps; perhaps I’m now viewed as a high-risk invitee.
But where others are compelled to reconsider their reasons for blogging – “if Dooce can make forty grand a month, there’s no reason why I can’t make a thousand!” (I’m paraphrasing what another blogger actually wrote) – I feel more sanguine than ever about my blog, what I give to it and what I gain from it. I write about what interests me, and I write when I’m genuinely compelled. I recognize that what stirs my passions won’t necessarily resonate with all of my readers. I realize that by leaving my mommy blog behind, I unintentionally left some of my readers behind.
This past weekend, Gwen asked about my transition, and I admitted to her and Christine that it’s been freeing. Not only do I write what I like when I like, but when I receive inquiries, I’m comfortable choosing what’s best suited to me and turning down what’s not. I’m not concerned about maintaining my position on an imaginary A-list, in hopes of receiving more and better perks in the future.
Which makes this past weekend that much sweeter for me. As one of five members of the Brand About Town advisory board, I relaxed among the red rocks and wide skies of southern Utah and shared my opinions, along with Amie Adams, Christine Koh, Gwen Bell, and Kelly Wickham. We’re an incredibly diverse group – not just in terms of color, but our personal histories and our passions too – but we all share a devotion to the art of blogging.
My confidence in my current path was underscored by our Saturday evening gathering at which Julie Powell was our honored guest. Much as I respect Heather Armstrong, her accomplishments frankly don’t hold a candle to Julie’s. Hers is a Cinderella story of blogging that far surpasses Dooce’s incarnation as a verb. Bloggers dream of making the jump from blog to book, and a scant few actually achieve it. Julie Powell’s blog-to-book journey led to a film directed by Nora Ephron, with Meryl Streep and Amy Adams playing the two female leads.
(We asked Julie who should have played her. Kate Winslet, she said. I have to agree.)
Julie’s is not just a tale of phenomenal success (she has another book – a memoir succeeding Julie and Julia – coming out in December), but a cautionary tale as well. She opened a Blogger account as so many of us do, but her objective was not fame and fortune. She had the goal of cooking her way through MtAoFC within a year, and she was passionate about accomplishing that goal. Her blog was merely the vehicle for documenting her progress.
Making money or inking a book deal or selling the movie rights to your creation are all laudable goals. But they’ve got to be based in substance. You must have something to offer beyond your status as a mom (or not) with a blog. You must have great ideas, compelling writing, a loyal following. We don’t all have those things; we’re not all capable of achieving those things.
I’m pleased with where blogging has taken me (and conversely, where I’ve taken myself via blogging). But more importantly, I’m pleased with where I’m heading: in the direction my passions take me.
It’s funny, I had a phone interview with a company and they asked me if I wrote a “homeschooling blog”. I had to say, “um, no”, it really isn’t any one topic—sometimes I write about my kids, sometimes myself, sometimes homeschooling, health or food, and I even do the occasion review. I think I’d feel too limited writing about a single subject, even if this does mean that I’ll never be seen as an “X” blog.
Taking ads off my site was the best thing I’ve done, though. It was freeing to me in the way that shedding mothergoosemouse was to you. I may even stop looking at my weekly stats since this tends to bum me out more than cheer me up!
I’m interested in what you guys discussed about blogging. And, I would’ve loved to hear Julie’s reaction to my idea to take the Joy of Sex and build a blog documenting a year of going through that book page by page. I think it’s a sure winner although I’d have to find someone to do it b/c I also cannot write about my sex life.
Three cheers for your “switch”. I have to admit I only discovered you as The Mom Slant so I never knew the mommy blog part of you. I will have to admit that as soon as I read the first line I was instantly smitten.
I love reading your posts. They make me think and often they make me cheer out loud.
I too write because I love to. I am fairly new to blogging and honestly quite ignorant about what is out there as far as making blogging an income producing activity. I started it to tell people about my family’s move and pretty hysterical experience with a reality tv show. Then I continued as a sort of therapy. I probably am not really a mommy blogger either because while I do wax romantic (or angrily vent) about my family from time to time, I often just write about whatever strikes me that day. I remember reading about people who abused the spirit of blogging after the BlogHer conference and I was feeling a little dumb that I had no idea what they were after.
Anyway, this is a very long way of saying I appreciate what you do. I am commenting just to say thanks-for sharing your opinions (well read and thought out btw) with us and allowing us to share back-whether we agree or not.
Julie, it is people like you who make me feel as if things are going to be OK in this blogging world when the shiz meter goes through the roof.
I am so, so happy that I finally got to meet you; in a way, it feels rather fitting that our first meeting was amidst a serene, thoughtful, and focused event.
-Christine
It all comes full circle and the cream rises to the top.
Rock on sister.
I’m so glad to see this. I still consider myself a mom blogger since I write about my kids first and foremost, but I get depressed when I see what passes for A-list mom blogs these days. It’s all giveaways, product reviews and junket promotion–so little is about the shared joys and frustrations of motherhood.
Once a week I consider shutting down my blog and starting over, perhaps as a marketing/business blogger. But every time my cursor hovers over the “delete blog” button, I remember why I started doing this in the first place: I wanted to capture my children’s early years, write about the issues that fire me up and connect with family and friends.
I saw this quote from Henri Nouwen on another blog recently:
“Writing can be a creative and invigorating way to make our lives available to ourselves…. we may discover that the better we tell our stories, the better we want to live them.”
Everyone says you have to blog for yourself. But then we all sneer because REALLY it is about the audience (and our great hope that we GET one!) afterall, right? For me, I understand deeply what you are saying… I write to better understand my own story… to make my life better available to me. I rejoice when what I say resonates with another… but let’s face it… there’s not room on the A-List for all of us
I’m so far out of this realm that these kind of posts always amaze me. Either that or I’m ridiculously naive. I blog because I love to write, because it’s cheaper than therapy and when all is said and done, I truly believe I have a story to tell.
And as for you? I don’t care what you write about or how you rank, I’m just happy to be along for the ride.
This is a very interesting post, although I have been approached to review products (for free) or add links, I have declined all of them. I do not want to feel compromised. I guess I come under the guise of a mommy blogger but I am also an activist and use the blog to develop a campaign against government proposed cuts to child benefit in Ireland. So my blog has to be political and socially aware, but there are days when my toddler does something funny that I just have to document. For me it’s the freedom of being able to blog about what you feel strongly about or want to share. A blog after all is a “web log” for the blogger and not a freebie marketing tool for pharma/toy/make up companies!
It does seem though there are 1000’s of us each with different slants and different backgrounds and to categorise everyone as “a mommy blog” is like catergorising every book written by a female as “chick lit”.
Something clicked for me at BlogHer this year and I finally got a handle on why I blog. It’s not the writing. I do that for a living, elsewhere. But I do like to tell the occasional story and I want to be part of the blogging community. Now that I know that, I’ve lost all interest in stats and only post when I want to, not when I feel I should. As Christina said, it’s very freeing!
I loved your parenting blog, but I also love this site. I’d follow you whether or not you made the switch. But, as I’ve mentioned to you before, this is the only site on which I really discuss politics and what’s in the news, and that’s mainly because of the atmosphere you’ve established here. I really appreciate that and you!
As for me, when I discovered parenting blogs it was as if I found where I belonged. As I said on another blog the other day, I just want to talk about my kids and being a mom all the time, and hear others talk about their kids and being a parent. I hardly ever enter any give-aways, I don’t seek out any revenue, I did start a review blog but that was because I wanted to share my thoughts on books and recipes and it didn’t seem to fit in with my parenting blog (and I haven’t kept up with it). I just like knowing I’m not alone in my struggles with parenting, and I can find that in the parenting blog world.
My feelings exactly. I don’t get asked to many ‘events’ any more, and I pretty sure that it’s largely to do with my content. But I’m fine with that – more than fine, actually. I’m a mom, not a marketer. And a writer, who made her space here to write, not to sell. So, yeah. Trips can be nice (and the opportunity to see friends, even nicer) but I’m not going to change my focus to accomplish that. I’m happy with how I am
PS- I forgot to say earlier, I nominated you for a Kreativ Blogger award. I know you don’t need my thumbs up, but I love reading here and I wanted to share you.
I do it for me. Someone, a humor blogger, asked me that last week. I think she was feeling stuck in a rut of humor. Because I’ve never pigeonholed myself, I feel free to write whatever I damned please. Drivel, complaining, pictures of the kid, whatever – also known as passion.
As an aside, I have to say that the Brand About Town people do what they do very well and with great elegance.
Oh I really like this post!!
I started and maintain my blog for the sake of my sanity. It really is as simple as that.
I have things to say and stories to tell, for me, for my family, my child(ren), old friends, new friends, etc. It’s about utilizing a creative and, at times, theraputic outlet for me.
More power to ya and keep on with the keepin’ on!
I hear you. We both write about our opinions, but what troubles me is that so many still try to lump us into the mommy blog category. So often when I suggest to someone that I do not write what has traditionally become known as a mommy blog, they say, “Well then why did you put ‘mom’ in the name of your blog?”
Sometimes I wish I didn’t have so many opinions I can’t help myself and in that respect I feel like we are kindred spirits — even when we don’t agree.
As for events, sponsors and free swag? Um, not so much.
Lovely post.
There was a time when I was frustrated with the size of my audience and where my blog was going.
Then? I let it go. I became my own Audience of One and began writing primarily for myself. And no one else. So, that dictates much of what I write now. Of course, I found that I really do love writing and in a way, NEED to write. And I only found that by deciding I would be my very own Audience of One.
This is a great post. In the past several months my eyes have been open to a lot in this “blogging world” and I’ve made changes and pacts with myself here and there. And was just thinking exactly what @mublogger said above… the cream will rise to the top. There’s been a whole lot of icky floaties up there for a while and already I see them sinking FAST.
Also, so envious of the wonderful company you keep!
Steph
Very well said. I come from the video blogging world where the dynamic with marketers is very different than what I’ve experienced in the blogosphere, particularly the mommy blogosphere. Pursuing passion is key. I never expected to be able to make a living off my videos – it was more of a documentary experience, but because I shared my truth + journey I got the gig of a lifetime by partnering with a brand that has truly rocked my world.
Thanks for this post – you are spot on.
As a relative rookie in the bloggy wilderness, thank you. I have fallen madly in love with the medium of blogging. I started at the behest of my literary agent (i guess i am an oddball going from book first to blog second), but now I blog each and every day because in so doing, I am able to start a conversation (even if it is just with myself) about something that interests me, or matters to me. So far, I have been able to write for me and have not been to swayed by that beckoning and fictitious (?) A-list to which you allude. But I must say that I am beginning to hear the whispers telling me to box myself in and pin myself down. They are telling me to decide. Am I a mommy blogger? No. I am a writer and a mother who blogs. I feel compelled to defy these voices and stay true to my oft-scattered focus.
Maybe, unintentionally, importantly, we are starting a new genre, a gray genre of blogging. Maybe, some of us are dealing not in blacks and whites, but in the more intangible in-betweens of passion and purpose.
Again, thank you for your words.