Last month, Kristen called to tell me that school supplies were on super-sale at Walmart.
“I hate Walmart,” I reminded her.
But after she gave me the details – folders and notebooks for fifteen cents each! – I grudgingly set aside my disdain for Walmart in favor of savings.
I pulled into the Walmart parking lot, and Tacy piped up, “Walmart? Mom, you hate Walmart.”
“I know,” I sighed. “But I bet I can get all your school supplies for under thirty bucks, so we’re here anyway.”
Walmart makes me sad. The store, the patrons, the corporation – all of it depresses me. I avoid going there unless there’s a truly compelling reason to do so. When I’m broke enough to stay home from BlogHer and my kid’s got a school supply list a mile long, I’m compelled.
But Walmart makes me laugh too. The new site, People of Walmart, is hilarious. But it’s scary – kind of like watching an episode of Jerry Springer and wondering, Do these people really live here in America?
Apparently they do. And one of those whom I hope – for his sake – that I never meet is Roger Stephens, a patron of the Stone Mountain GA Walmart, who slapped another shopper’s two year old child because she was crying.
Slapped a two year old child. Across the face. More than once.
I have to take a sip of wine every time I think about it.
If I were that child’s mother, I’d have been booked on assault charges. But then, Mr. Stephens wouldn’t have left Walmart with his face (and balls) intact. Call it even.
What’s interesting though is that I have been that mother – the one whose child is causing a scene and annoying a senior. Two years ago, CJ flailed and wailed for a full half-hour during Tacy’s swimming lesson, which led another patron to accost and criticize me for CJ’s behavior.
I responded politely, but I refused to be intimidated by her. As I wrote then, “There’s a difference between a swimming lesson and a meal at a restaurant. And there’s a difference between parents who try valiantly to maintain control (and their composure as well) and parents who carelessly let their children run amok.” Likewise, there’s a difference between Walmart and say, Neiman Marcus.
But it never occurred to me that anyone – stranger, friend or relative – might lay a hand on my child. Unthinkable. It was disconcerting enough to be told by a stranger what she thought I ought to have done; what if she had gone further?
Other people’s children can be adorable, but they can also be annoying. I have three children myself who’ve logged plenty of airline miles, and yet when I travel alone I fervently hope that I’m seated far away from children. Of course, if I am, I treat them – and their parents – kindly.
At the grocery store, my children have been both models of good behavior and impersonators of the devil himself. When they’re well-behaved, I hug them and kiss them and shower them with compliments. And when they’re not…well, I get out of there as quickly as I possibly can. Because honestly, I’m just as irritated by their behavior as other patrons are, if not more so.
I’ve stood before my children with clenched fists, breathing deeply and counting to myself. I understand the urge to lash out, both verbally and physically. I’ve felt that frustration. But I control it; I know the damage it can do.
Whether Ms. Matthews, mother of the child who was slapped by Mr. Stephens, was doing her best to mollify her daughter and get out of the store quickly – or not – is irrelevant. He’s an adult; if he can’t control his own behavior, he needs to stay home.
And frankly, if he’s representative of the People of Walmart, then I feel even more justified in my disdain for that store.
Walmart or Target? I promise not to pass judgment. Much.
(Kristen will be on CNN Newsroom AM on Friday to provide a parent’s perspective on this news story.)
Wow, I didn’t hear of that story, that is shocking I would have bitten the guys fingers off one by one and force fed them to him. How dare anyoone slap a child, ANY child, but especially a child that is not their own. Disgusting. Wal Mart or Target?? Neither. I hate them both
I haven’t read the actual story – just gotten the blog news about it – but I’m wondering why someone didn’t charge that man with assault. I would have been on the phone to 911 before he could have raised his hand a second time.
Okay – clicked over and read. He was arrested. Thank God. I hope he actually serves time. Such a nice picture of the happy man too. Sheesh.
It’s no secret out there that I too hate Walmart. I, like you, only go there if ABSOLUTELY necessary. And when I do, I always find that plenty of blog fodder abounds! As I tweeted earlier, had that man (or anyone) laid a hand on my child- I don’t care if my child was ripping every item from it’s shelves, while screaming the Barney theme song at the top of his lungs- I would have turned around, picked up the largest object within my reach, and proceeded to beat the ever-loving crap out of them. I am talking full on ass whooping. I am not even remotely kidding. Like, at all. I love this post. can’t wait to share it, and to see Kristen discuss it.
I got all our school supplies at Target for 15 cents
each! I can’t IMAGINE what i’d do if that happened to me but I bet it would involve a straight jacket. Why on earth would he think slapping a child would make it stop?Especially one that belongs to a stranger!? So utterly awful.
Steph
That dude had some bigger issues than being a Person of Walmart, I’d be willing to bet. Effing NUTJOB.
Target, Walmart once refused to pay me for doing training then never scheduled me for real work. I only go there if I have absolutely no other choice.
He would have been missing his balls and his “organ” would have been in a mouse trap. My child thankfully rarely acts up in public, but it happens, and I’m sure he was no angel when he was a kid. I can’t even think about it much past what I would have done to harm him it makes me so mad.
I just relayed this post to my husband and asked him what he would have done if someone had slapped our child during one of their past temper tantrums in a store. And like all children, they’ve had a few.
He quite calmly promised the man wouldn’t walk out of the store without bleeding and begging for someone to call the cops to have him thrown in jail just to protect himself from the angry father.
I can’t say I wouldn’t beat the attacker myself. It’s one thing for me to discipline my children (WITHOUT smacking them) but an entirely different scenario when a stranger does it.
Regardless of that mans defense or excuses I am horrified that as a parent someone would harm my child while I stood mere feet away.
Damn.
If anyone came up to me in a store and said, “if you don’t shut that baby up, I will shut her up for you”, I would have been out of that store so fast, dialing 911 as I walked. That would’ve scared the crap out of me.
I’m a Target girl, even though I think their food, toys and “eco-initiatives” pretty much suck. They are better than Walmart, but sadly, not by much. They have the power to do much, much more and I’ve been disappointed to see that they don’t use it.
Okay, start recycling your printer cartridges, take them to Staples, and get $3 credit for each one (up to $30 each month). Then buy supplies. That way, no more WalMart.
Seriously, I’m with Fairly Odd Mother and the 911.
I hadn’t heard of the story either. Shocking. Yes. He would be limping out of the store. I get pissed when other people even try to verbally correct my kids when I am obviously already trying to do so. (thanks for undermining me you asshat!)
I love Target. I go to Wal-Mart only occasionally when I have to buy things that Target doesn’t carry. I hate the whole atmosphere and I have been present for more than one domestic quarrel there. It’s sad.
Seriously. I don’t spank my kids or hit them. If a stranger did? Watch out. I have quite a temper.
You know my feelings on Walmart… I won’t go there for almost any reason. And this is a terrific post, I agree with you point for point.
I *just* saw a post about this on another blog, too!
I can’t even imagine this happening! I’m stunned. I have no idea how I would react if someone touched (let alone smacked) my child, but I have a feeling my self-defense moves would kick in, and that person would regret it. They’d know where to find him, because he’d be lying on the floor.
My 3yo daughter has acted out in public in the past (whose hasn’t!?), and we leave. She gets one warning, and if she does it again, we leave the store. Period. I’m pretty good at the scoop and carry while bolting for the door, so usually not many people are the wiser.
Luckily, she’s good about 97% of the time. (Then again, come to think of it, she’s never been in a Wal-Mart…which answers your Target vs. Wal-Mart question…)
Anyway, She HATES leaving, so the threat of leaving usually works. But still…if ANYONE laid a hand on her… wow. Just wow.
It’s so interesting how certain brands breed certain feelings. Last summer I went to Walmart in a similar fit of economical inspiration and I told Laurel we would never go there again. Like the few other Walmart trips I have ever taken, it smelled gross, and there were people yelling at or hitting their kids left and right. WTF is up with that?
Laurel’s never been prone to tantrum (she must get the buttoned up New England crustiness from us) but when I see other parents wrestling with their kids, I lend a kind, understanding, supportive smile and move along. -Christine
Target! I hit the pedal to the metal and zoom my ass PAST Walmart to drive on to Target. Bah. I do the Peopleofwalmart.com. LOVE IT. Am just waiting for Olathe KS to show up because we got ‘em. People of Walmart, that is.
Julie, ALL of us have been That Mother with the screaming child in the cart. The only time I get irritated is when the mother is not acknowledging her child’s distress. Still, a strange man slapping my child on the face? He would regret it and better hope there are not ice scrapers on sale nearby. There would have been a brawl for sure because I pity the fool who touches my child like that.
Of the two, definitely Target. I know I could save even more if I shopped at Walmart, but I just can’t do it. I don’t like them at all. Now if someone had slapped my son, or even threatened to, I don’t really know what I would do. I like to think I could maintain my composure and politely tell the threatening person to go to hell. I doubt I could remain very calm if someone slapped him though. I may be too shocked and wanting to comfort my child to actually punch the offender in the nose like I would want to. People like this just make me sick.
Target by far. I do not think I have been inside a Walmart in 3 years or more, including Sam’s Club.
We have all been the mom desperately trying to keep it together in the midst of some meltdown, but to have someone accost your child? Out of bounds, man. Way out.
Allow me to paint a picture for you:
I’m 23 years old. I have a 5 month old son. He cries for approximately 10 hours a day, all day, every day. His father travels for work, and is gone approximately 3 weeks out of the month. I am out of things. Toilet paper, diapers, NECESSARY THINGS.
I *have* to take my screaming child to Target.
I go to Target.
Child screams.
I do things as fast as possible, what with the screaming child.
A lady calls the cops on me, because of the screaming child.
Seriously?
I cry.
Obviously.
To the credit of both the police and Target management, they felt the lady was a bitch, and were very nice to me.
And I still shop at Target.
For the record, my reco about the cheap supplies was made via the paper flyer and not actually being in the store.
I avoid it at almost all costs.
And yes, clearly he was way beyond crazy. But while it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with Walmart, it doesn’t surprise me. Home of the stampedes and crack in the toy section. Just add this to the top of their list of offenses in my book.
Granted, we find horrible people everywhere – including Target, as Miss Grace noted. But the anecdotal evidence of the Walmart environment continues to pile up, augmented well by some of the recent comments you’ve received, Kristen. It’s indicative of a different sort of culture when people aren’t horrified by what Mr. Stephens did, but actually supportive of him.
I hate Walmart sooooooooooo much. And I don’t notice that they ARE cheaper than Target. They have a few things that are cheaper and a few things that are more expensive, and since Target has good clearances/sales and Walmart doesn’t (Walmart, $12.50 down from $12.97 is not a clearance), I think Target comes out ahead.
I have NO IDEA what I’d do if someone slapped my child. I think I’d hit them without thinking about it, but I’m not sure. It’s so outside the normal limits of behavior. It’s kind of like wondering what I’d do if someone came up to me and lit my hair on fire.
Like Cagey, I drive right past Walmart to go to Target. I hate Walmart. Hate.
Wow. Man should have been arrested.
I hate the lighting in Walmart. And many other things about it. I shop at Target sometimes, but mostly I just don’t shop at all.
Walmart for the prices, Target for the ambiance. Although, believe it or not, Target’s diapers are actually cheaper than Walmart’s. That being said, we’re lucky enough to have a really nice Walmart about 20 minutes from us… I have to pay $4 in tolls, but it’s worth it to stay away from the other Walmarts around here… so when I NEED to go, it’s not so terrible.
Target. Like you, Walmart only if I have to. But it always feels like a social experiment.
Target. I feel the exact same way about Wal-Mart. But boy, people in the south will defend their wal-mart to the death. I too, am forced to shop there sometimes, out of necessity, but almost every time I go my fruit ends up rotten and I can NEVER EVER EVER find a sales associate to help me. Ever.
Target. The tall, crowded shelves in Walmart make me antsy. Besides, there is a Target in my neighborhood, and the nearest Walmart is across town.
I don’t know what I would have done in that mom’s shoes. Possibly been too shocked and busy comforting my child to do much of anything else. But later, I would come up with an EXCELLENT speech that totally would have put that man in his place, if only I’d delivered it at the time.
Or maybe my martial arts training would have kicked in, and I would have thrown an awesome combination that knocked him out. Hard to say.
You’re absolutely right. The difference between good people and bad people is that good people control their evil impulses. We all have them. It takes maturity and sanity to overcome them.
I saw that Wal-mart was having cheap school supplies and I thought about it and decided that I just couldn’t do it. I’m a Target girl all the way.
Wal-Mart is closer to my house, but I gladly trek the extra couple of miles to my neighborhood Target. I love their style…cute clothes for me and the babe at small prices. I would never register at Target again, however. Awful return policies….they ought to call a truce with their customers and soften the policy up a bit. I never had so much trouble until the day I received four idential Boppy pillows (because of their computer errors) at a shower, and then had to fight, armed with the gift log registry receipt, to get the store to take three of them back. Even so, Target over Wal-mart, hands down!
I just discovered your blog and I love it! Target for me. For one thing, Wal-Mart is too far away, and another thing, the shoppers at my Target store are a lot less rude than the ones at Wal-Mart. I went to one Wal-Mart where I went to the self-serve lane, and these people were plunking their merchandise on the 12 Items or Less converyor belt RIGHT BEHIND ME as I was still scanning my items. It was like, come on, people, give me my personal space! As far as the a**hole who slapped the toddler – as far as I know, toddlers don’t come equipped with off switches.Anyone who swears they could instantly get their kids to stop crying scares me. It’s like they had little Stepford babies instead of real children.