Edited below:
I may have mentioned a time or two before that I resist labeling myself.
No matter what the label may be – Objectivist, feminist, Libertarian, Independent – I can think of a reason I don’t want to wear it. Humanist is fundamentally accurate but requires too much explanation. And “Bright” is ridiculous and borderline offensive, even though Michael Shermer and Penn & Teller (whom I greatly admire) have self-identified as such.
But I never grumbled about the label mommy blogger before now. The shoe fit: I was a mommy who blogged, primarily about my mommy-ness.
No more. Mommy blogger now falls into the group of labels that I refuse to wear.
Instead of being a mere descriptor, it’s increasingly used to alternately minimize and aggrandize mothers who blog about their lives. Worse, mothers who don’t even blog about their lives have co-opted the label and, with the help of the media, have distorted it.
Mommy bloggers still write about what’s important to them, but for the new generation, it seems that what’s important has changed dramatically. Many women in this new wave of mommy bloggers just want to make money, or at the very least, gather up as many goodies from the swag pinata as they possibly can. I’m not just making that statement based on the proliferation of so-called parenting blogs touting lice treatments and Ritz crackers, but also on the reports I’ve heard from BlogHer09 about the abhorrent behavior of mommy bloggers in pursuit of swag. Utterly sickening.
Forget compelling content. Forget attractive design. Forget engaging topics that make their readers think. Forget basic grammar and spelling and paragraph breaks and appropriate use of apostrophes.
Those of us who began blogging prior to BlogHer06 (the timeframe I’d consider to be the most optimal, per my post on outliers in blogging) may have felt that it was difficult to get noticed in a sea of well-established, incredibly talented writers. Now I realize we had it easy; it’s the bloggers just starting out now who are being drowned out by the sea of shills.
We were inspired and buoyed by writers like Angela and Jenifer and Yvonne. Now bloggers hold up Heather as their icon – not for her craft, but for her bottom line. If she and “that Pioneer chick” can make big bucks on their blogs, why can’t any mom open a Blogger account, hang out a product reviewer shingle, and call herself a social media consultant?
Apparently they can. And apparently they are viewed by mainstream media as speaking for the rest of us.
And since that “us” is defined as mommy bloggers at large, I refuse to accept that label any longer.
Call me an op-ed blogger. Because I’ve got plenty of opinions, and my coverage on The Mom Slant is purely editorial.
It seems that my references to Heather and Ree are being misunderstood. While I – and other bloggers who began writing long before ads were present on any blog, including Heather’s – greatly appreciate the talent and hard work that writers such as they devote to their blogs, it’s increasingly apparent that a subset of newer bloggers seem intent on minimizing their talent and focusing on their bottom line. The quote above – “that Pioneer chick” – was taken from a post written by one of those bloggers.
Any further questions, please feel free to email me directly.
Great commentary. Even if the topic breaks my heart.
I am so sad. Brought to tears sad over all of it.
I can only imagine how you’re feeling. I’m sorry, Jenn.
Amen.
Someone asked me why I’m writing and specifically why I’m writing about my daughter’s illness. I said, when I went out looking for some first hand accounts of what she’s going through, I couldn’t find any. I wanted the next person who comes across this diagnosis to have something they can look at read and go, okay, so that’s what’s next. When the what’s next is from a parent’s point of view.
I couldn’t give a crap about the other stuff. I just want there to be a voice out there that others can hear. And you know what, I don’t like the term mommy blogger either. Especially now.
I was interested in BlogHer before reading about things that happened this year, but now I think it’s not really my cup of tea.
Beth, I don’t consider what’s happening with mommy bloggers to be related to BlogHer – the organization or the conference – at all, and I don’t mean to malign either one.
What Julie said.
I was utterly sickened and appalled when I read Kristin’s post as well.
I’m still processing because it was just so much, but I really don’t like the Mommy Blogger label after this weekend. I am a little frustrated by the whole “old vs. new” thing that I see happening. Especially since I am “new” yet I have no intention of being a pawn for a marketer. I heard more than once this weekend that the ‘new bloggers are ruining it’ and I think while we’re coming up with new ways to explain ourselves can we not blame everything on the new bloggers?
I don’t see it as old vs. new. In fact, as I noted above: “it’s the bloggers just starting out now who are being drowned out by the sea of shills”
Good writing like yours is more difficult to discover among the rest of your contemporaries. I think that’s a shame.
J, oh how I have been turning this around in my head and how embarrassing it was to be part of the “mommy blogger” niche this weekend. A post is forthcoming…. -Christine
p.s. Missed you but so thrilled we’ll be connecting around BAA!
C, that was the *nicest* part of my weekend – hearing from Kelly that we’ll be working together!
I just wrote about this on my blog, and linked to your post. Excellent commentary on your part.
I don’t know if I’m so quick to let BlogHer organizers entirely off the hook here. After all, they’re the ones that add more and more sponsors/partners/product tie-ins each year, and the huge “Expo” room this weekend full of booths and PR/marketers and swag gave me — from the brief time I wandered around the Sheraton yesterday — more of a “trade show” vibe than networking/business conference.
And if you’ve had the “pleasure” of attending a larger trade show the atmosphere is all about stuffing your bag with as many goodies as possible, and perhaps the setup at BlogHer this year really helped foster that crassness.
From all I’ve read already about the overall “icky” feeling a lot of people had the past couple days, I wouldn’t be surprised if a more back-to-basics conference like Mom 2.0 leapfrogs BlogHer as the place to be for writers-formerly-known-as-mommybloggers in the not-so-distant future, provided they don’t fall into the same trap.
I’m conflicted. I want to give the organizers the benefit of the doubt – they seek out sponsors to help abate the cost of putting on a conference of this size, and they’ve consistently passed on those savings to us attendees in the form of early-bird registration fees that can’t be beat.
Perhaps it’s a matter of setting ground rules for sponsors. But then, I don’t presume to speak for all BlogHer attendees; maybe the majority don’t have a problem with how the conferences have evolved. I just know that I’m feeling nostalgic for BlogHer06, where it was the personal connections that were the draw.
I think it kind of lets the few awful bloggers off the hook to blame this on the Expo Floor. “The swag just made me crazy! It MADE me hit that baby!”
I actually really liked the expo floor and the way the marketers engaged with bloggers, and how it was separated from the rest of the conference. You could have avoided it altogether if you wanted, even more so than previous years in which the booths were literally around the entrance to the ballroom and you had to walk through them to get to the panels.
However I do think the swag was just so abundant it was a distraction. Or maybe the bloggers who seem to have come for the freebies were the distraction. Hm. I’m thinking about possible ways it could work better this year. I’d bet Prescott has some great ideas.
Yes, I get how the sponsors and exhibitor fees help defray costs and keep registration fees down which is awesome, but as those items have multiplied immensely over several years, have fees gone significantly down? Despite their old “.org” domain name they are a for-profit company so I have a hard time believing the new extra revenue is all being rolled back into the conferences.
Then again, I’m a total outsider so I’m more cynical — looking at this year from afar it doesn’t seem like there was much value to BlogHer at all besides going to parties and getting free shit. Seems a far cry from the original intent way back when.
You know I’m an unapologetic capitalist, so I don’t begrudge the organization any financial gains from the conference. However, if there’s dissatisfaction from attendees regarding the role of sponsors, I hope the organization will look closely at that point when planning next year’s conference.
On the other point you made – the value of BlogHer – expateek’s post mentioned a session regarding global activism that was very poorly attended (while next door a “blogging in the age of Britney” session was jam-packed). That speaks to the priorities of the attendees (which is another reason why I don’t presume that others were as disillusioned by the role of sponsors as I was).
In complete agreement — I, too, don’t really care how much money BlogHer makes, and just think they need to weigh feedback and take a hard look at the direction their conference is heading. Especially since in BlogHer’s rear view mirror Mom 2.0 is perfectly poised to become the more “serious” conference and if they were smart would jump all over it. (I provide that sans my usual “social media consultant” fee)
Heather Armstrong’s a damn fine writer. Funny as hell. Just sayin’.
No question. But instead of being admired for her talent, she’s envied for her ad revenue.
By some, maybe. But I don’t think those are the opinions that count. Fact remains that she has a huge following that can be traced back to her abilities as a writer. That she was able to recognize that only accepting paid ads would be the most financially lucrative option for her (as opposed to accepting free trips or doing product reviews) only shows that she’s also got business savvy. She knew enough not to be taken advantage of.
And this isn’t to start a war about sponsorship and product reviews. Everyone is free to choose their path. You just have to live with the consequences.
@Julie – I never said they were. In fact, if you read carefully, including my post-script and Mom-101’s comment, you’ll see that I have much respect for veteran bloggers and much disdain for those who see them only as moneymakers. I began blogging myself in 2005 out of admiration for talent, not in pursuit of income.
Also, just in terms of getting facts correct, Heather and other veteran bloggers have taken several sponsored trips. However, unlike many of those who are now soliciting sponsorships, she had (and still has) a great deal to offer her sponsors in return.
I hate this. We’re on the same side here. One look at my bare-ass naked site will show you that. And it feels really weird to be talking to myself (julie to julie).
Can we agree that a) many bloggers are successful due to talent and b) we’ll refuse to let a few rotten apples spoil the lot?
LOL…totally! Glad to have found you, one of the good ones.
(Likewise have always found myself slightly off-kilter when chatting with someone who shares my name.)
This was my first blogher but I have been blogging for six years now. I wad totally freaked by the sponsors and was nearly crushed to death in the hoard waiting for free swag vibrators. That said, I came away feeling good. I saw some amazing panels – chronic illness was amazing and comedy was fabulous -it really was about writing and the panel gave such valuable tips. And of course the keynote, which makes you remember that it is all about stories.
I plan to post about this, too, of course. I want a subgenre. Can I be a “literary momblogger,” maybe? Can there be “review monbloggers”? Peole should totally do what they want with their blogs and blogher should give people what they need to learn to make money. But can we maybe have a literary track where we talk about writing? There are still a lot of us for whom writing is as integral as breath.
Subgenres! Of course. And I’ve heard from a few people about the desire for more instruction on writing well. We actually held a PBN webinar a few months ago with Rita Arens on the topic of improving your writing craft – email me if you’d like more info.
After reading Briar’s comment, I am going to check out her blog next — and I feel like I just want to say “hear hear!” As a first-time attendee at BlogHer, I was all about seeking out the people whose writing I’d so admired and getting to know them in person. That clearly was not everyone’s agenda. And it has made me realize that while I’ve long resisted the label “mommyblogger” because I feel like it implies that I am nothing else in life but a mommy, now I want to resist it for all the other reasons you mention too.
I hope you loved BlogHer enough to return next year! It’s an amazing conference and an amazing organization.
I greatly dislike the term “mommy blogger,” mostly because it’s only used for mothers. We don’t also say “lawyer blogger” and “baker blogger” and “dog-owner blogger.” And so it seems belittling: NOT a blogger, but a mommyblogger.
I’m trying to read the Motherhood Uncensored page but it’s having trouble loading.
I’l bet the swag problem will be reduced now that BlogHer Ads has a rule that bloggers who have BlogHer Ads can’t talk about or give away anything they get for free. It seems like no one would want to give a BlogHer participant ANYTHING for free, since then it CAN’T be talked about and/or promoted. But perhaps word hasn’t yet reached the swag-givers.
I’m chuckling because you’ve echoed Joanne’s point in her piece at ZDNet (linked in her comment below). I think it’s an excellent one.
I’ve long disliked the term mommyblogger because it seemed to confining of a label. Now it’s more disgust at being associated with happened at BlogHer. I do hope that not all newer bloggers are lumped in with those that created this mess.
Not by me. As I replied to Amelia above, it’s sad that good writers are increasingly overshadowed by shills.
Hell yeah.
Truthfully, I hate the mommyblogger title and I hate how it is all too often said in a sneering tone. I have been blogging for nearly 5 years, long before I was a mother. Dude. I am just a blogger. One who talks about many things, some of which includes her children.
K, that’s a large part of why mothergoosemouse.com is no more – like you, my blogging subject matter reaches far beyond mommy-ness.
I’m considering an I dion’t blog for swag button. You in?
Jodi, I think that’s brilliant.
I want to defend the BlogHer sponsors a little. I actually think that the “official” stuff was some of the most well done. It was clear what the expectations were. It was like a trade show, and that was OK because that was what we expected. Outside of that, the professional marketers did a great job of interacting and I liked some of them just as much as the bloggers I met.
Some, not all, of the sponsored general population of bloggers, caused some issues with their pushing sponsor stuff. I know a few people who were sponsored that didn’t say anything about it that was out of place as well.
I really think that I’m loving the whole thing more and more. This kind of discussion is exactly what needed to happen next.
I agree; I defended them myself above. I don’t place blame on them. In fact, I feel embarrassed for sponsors of individual bloggers who did not represent their sponsors well.
I love BlogHer (the organization) for working so hard to manage the sponsor role and for passing the reward along to us as attendees in the form of extremely affordable registration fees. I’m not advocating for the elimination of sponsors.
What I’ve grown to hate about the mommy blogging label is that we’re perceived by mainstream media as this robotic uniform group of women 1) with a cute hobby – awwww you blog in your free time, how nice dear 2) who are shills and will do anything for free cereal 3) are all trying to be Dooce 4) constantly write about our kids/poop/needing a cocktail/hair/cats/cleaning products, etc. in a snarky, self-depreciated voice.
And now that we’ve had a BlogHer conference with bad behavior by a small minority of women, we’re being judged as a group of Bad Mommy Bloggers who will injure babies and other women for sponges and vibrators. Can we stop the insanity please?
We all have different ways to blog. Some of us like doing reviews because we have a curiousity about products that would benefit our readers and/or ourselves and our families. Some are totally bored by that and want to write about their struggles with motherhood, with work, with marriage, with weight, with their crazy mother-in-law, etc., etc., etc. Others like me have written about motherhood and are burnt out and want to try something different. And as my kids get older, I worry about their privacy more than my need to rant about their behavior on blog. Bottom line: to each her own.
So I’m tired of being lumped with the so-called “mommy bloggers” in discusssions about sponsored posting, FTC guidelines, PR blackouts, and swag grabs even though there is no typical mom blogger but a zillion different women running their blogs in a way they see fit.
Let’s have respect for that and let’s help each other out when it comes to figuring how to work with brands (or not work with them) and how to make a living by being a professional blogger/freelance writer if that’s what we choose.
Until then, I blog from a mom’s perspective about about food, weight loss, social media, green & tech. But next week, I may decide to give it all up and start an archeology or Star Trek blog, who knows?
That robotic uniformity – yet another reason why I eschew labels in general. I can also identify with the “cute hobby” misconception.
Do let me know if you start Trek-blogging though – there’s a wealth of content!
Just as I’m reading this post, which followed Liz’s (MOM-101) and Kristen Chase ’s post on the same topic, my husband, apropos of nothing, mentioned that he heard about the whole mommybloggger/swag thing on NPR (!). I would guess that’s not really the kind of publicity one wants from a personal blog.
I did not go to Blogher, but reading about these incidents pains me. I don’t write for the stuff. I write in hopes of the opportunity to do more writing and someday get paid for it. Advertising may pay the bills (if you are lucky) but the free stuff does not.
I feel like bloggers have a hard enough time being taken seriously. This kind of behavior only “cheapens the brand.”
Good point re being taken seriously. As Anne-Marie noted, we still get the “aw, what a cute hobby” type of reaction more often than I’d like.
I was tempted to join the mommy-blog community and put that label on my blog, because I happen to be a mom and I happen to blog. I also did so before it was cool to do so.
However- diving into the meaning of the term mommy blogger has made me run screaming in the opposite direction. I’m not one, and I refuse to ever be one.
Maybe it’s just a matter of semantics, but I get what you mean.
Julie, again I will commend you for taking a stand. I don’t know exactly how this is going to “go down” from here. I do know that this has caused me to take a step back from what I do on my own personal blog. And I feel that I will be making some good (for me) changes.
Christy, thank you! I can’t offer any predictions either, but it feels like we are on the right track.
I heard the NPR segment Lisse references, too. It was in the All Tech Considered portion of All Things Considered yesterday. It was about more than just the swag- and the swag bit was in the context of the FTC rules (which, by the way, I think are probably more aimed at the tech blogs than mommyblogs- the tech guys are getting much more valuable freebies to evaluate).
The thing that bugs me about the “mommyblogger” label is that it seems to imply that I ONLY blog about motherhood. I blog about whatever I feel like writing about, which is sometimes cute things my daughter does, sometimes a more serious post about being a working mother, sometimes a rant about something science-related, sometimes about travel, etc, etc.
However, I don’t care that much about the label, because I’m not making this part of my work/career. It truly is just a hobby for me. I can completely understand that this matters more to those of you who have made your blog part of your work. I have a small readership, and don’t care that it is small because there is no real benefit to me of having a bigger readership. The great thing about blogging is that even with my small regular readership, some of my eclectic posts can find an audience that “needs” them thanks to search engines.
I also get a kick out of the idea that people sometimes click over from a comment I’ve written on a science-blog site and find a post about having a baby who doesn’t sleep through the night or some such thing. I considered using a different handle on the science sites, and even wrote a blog post about that idea. But then a young woman scientist wrote me a nice email in reply to that post telling me how helpful it was for her to have found my blog from one of those posts on a science site. I thought back to when I was in grad school, freaking out about how I could combine my chosen career with motherhood, and I decided that I would keep my single online identity.
Cloud, I couldn’t agree more! We spent a lot of time talking to the NPR reporter about why we hate being called mommybloggers – and even how the FTC issue has nothing to do with moms specifically. But you know…sound bytes and all.
The truth is the FTC is after marketers and blog “networks” and consulting groups that practice a repeated pattern of deceptive marketing practices. It’s less about the value of the item than the pattern of deception and the number of consumers it’s likely to effect.
I’m glad to have you as a reader for many reasons, but one of them is that when I post on scientific topics, I no longer have to listen to the crickets chirp.
We’re all multi-faceted, and our blogs are a great forum to showcase our interests and make connections that we otherwise wouldn’t.
Yup, I’ve written a post very similar to this. Opinions, op-eds, commentaries — fine. Yes, I’m a mom — but I’m not a mommyblogger.
http://blogs.zdnet.com/feeds/?p=337
Moms with editorial content unite!
Your commenters over there – ouch! (Also prone to jumping to conclusions.) FWIW, I’m with you. I wasn’t a “single white female Air Force officer”; I was an Air Force officer. Likewise, I’m not a “married white mommy blogger”; I’m a blogger. Op-ed blogger, if I must be categorized.
I will call you an op-ed blogger, proudly – that is a label that fits you very well.
I came to your blog today from Zrecs. You specifically mentioned Dooce and The Pioneer Woman, both of whom I read. I don’t always agree with Dooce, but I enjoy her site–and I don’t read the ads. I’ve been reading The Pioneer Woman for a long time now. I think the site has great content; and the best I can tell, she is very charitable and compassionate in her personal life and has great give-aways for her readers. Can you back up your remarks on them?
Because of my respect for Zrecs, I will read your blog for awhile, not because of this blog I’ve read today.
G, thanks for your comment. I’m afraid you’ve jumped to mistaken conclusions though. As you can see, I’ve added a postscript so as to be crystal clear.
Next time, you might read through the other comments first.
Thanks for the clarification. I read your blog late at night and read only a couple of the comments. Then because of my loyalty(?) to PW (and somewhat to Dooce), I felt the need to comment immediately. I’ll concede that I may have misunderstood your intent in the remarks, but I think it would have been because of your passion about the issue. And as I commented on Zrecs, I do admire and appreciate that passion. (I’m just a reader, not a blogger.)
Thanks G. I get where you’re coming from, and it’s actually one of the primary reasons I love this community – bloggers and readers alike.
G Bailey, I think you’ve misunderstood the passage. Julie was saying that bloggers like Dooce and Pioneer Woman (who I happen to know she has the utmost respect for) should be admired for their craft, not simply because of their financial success. In other words if you want to be as successful as either of them, start with writing well. Not pay-per-post opportunities.
Mom101–I also checked out your blog because of Zrecs!